Teen Self-Harm Counseling and Resources

Christian Hill, also known as “The Self-harm Counselor”, is one of the most well known leading experts, pioneer, and authority for successfully counseling teens who self-harm. Mr. Hill has been helping teens recover from self-harm since 2002 as well as helped hundreds of families navigate this difficult process.

Mr. Hill has trained thousands of counselors nationwide and is a highly sought-after speaker and trainer.  If you would like training for your organization please click here

The Self-Harm Counselor Self-Harm Interviews Part 2:

By: Christian Hill, MA, LPC: The Self-Harm Counselor

Meet "Amy"

Me: Before we dive too much into the topic of self-harm, tell us a little bit about you and your current season of life.

Amy: I am currently a stay at home mom. I have 4 daughters and I am married to my high school sweetheart, we’re about to celebrate 10 years of marriage this summer. Our current season of life is the army life, so that’s a changing world for us everyday.

Me: Amy, tell us a little about your childhood and the family you grew up in.

Amy: I was born and raised in Colorado. I grew up in a somewhat messy household. I had my dad, my mom and my older sister. My parents got divorced when I was around the age of 7. My dad quickly remarried and I gained my “step-monster” and they moved to California shortly after. Around 13 my sister moved out to California to be with my dad. Throughout my childhood I’d struggled with anger issues, depression, and anxiety. These things increased after my sister moved away and my mother became a full blown alcoholic. I was forced to somewhat raise myself from there. At 15 after meeting my now husband, I got pregnant and was kicked out of my house. At 16 I became a mom, living with my husband and his family. After I graduated high school at 18 we moved away to South Dakota to be closer to my husbands extended family, as all our parents had turned to excessive drinking at that time. That’s a quick glimpse at my childhood and some important events.

Dark Secrets of Self-harm in 2 Minutes

Teen Self-Harm, Self-Injury, and Teen Counseling

By:  Christian Hill, MA, LPC:  The Self-Harm Counselor

Meet "Maddison"

Do you have a friend or teen in your life who is struggling with self-harm? They might be too embarrassed or ashamed to admit it, but self-harm isn’t uncommon. It can take many forms, from cutting themselves, burning, or even scratching at their skin until it bleeds. Sometimes people will even bite their lips until they bleed.

It’s difficult for these teens to talk about their pain, and some may not know how to start a conversation about this topic. They might even avoid getting help for their emotions and behaviors because they don’t know where to begin. It’s also common for teens to share images of themselves harming themselves in social media outlets like Facebook or Instagram.

However, this is obviously not a healthy way to cope with your emotions. The problem is that these posts aren’t private, and anyone can see them, so it could lead to peer pressure and other problems for the teen who is posting these kinds of photos.

In This Brochure

Why Teens Self-Harm?

The 5 reasons:

Self-punishment

Control

Attention

Relief

Self-expression

Discovering your child is self-harming can be terrifying, alarming, and can make a parent feel hopeless as you try to understand “why” and how to help.

The good news is that 90% of teens who self- harm do so in an effort to cope and survive as opposed to trying to do something more permanent. Yes, some do it just for attention, but many do it as a way to deal with overwhelming psychological or emotional pain. Self-harm is often a cry for help and usually symptomatic of something deeper going on.

In order for someone to get better from self-harm it usually takes a trained professional to help a teen navigate what they are feeling and why. One of the greatest challenges for school counselors and other mental health professionals is helping parents realize the level of seriousness of self-harm even if someone has only done it one time.

A therapist professionally trained in teens as well as self-harm, can help you and your family navigate a recovery process that offers help and hope for even the most complicated situations. If self-harm if not treated early on it can lead to severe depression, anxiety, behavioral issues, social issues, academic issues, isolation, and even suicidal thoughts. One of the best things you can do for your self-harming child is to communicate your love, support, and commitment to helping them get the help they need.

Quotes from teens

“I feel like a failure and deserve to be punished” ,“It gives me a release”, “I don’’t feel like I can measure up” , “I can’t express what I’m feeling on the inside”, “It gives me something I can control”, “It helps distract me from all the pain in my life” “To show others how much I am hurting”

What to do

Do – try to show loving support for them. You can love them without approving of the behavior.
Do-Assure them you will provide whatever help and support they need to overcome this.
Do-Seek out professional help from someone skilled and experienced with teens that self-harm.
Do-Be a good listener. Ask open ended questions to help them explain what they are thinking and feeling. Try to understand what they are feeling and why.
Do-Practice patience. Recovering from self- harm is more of a journey than an event. Pressuring them to get better quickly is usually counterproductive.

What to do

Don’t-Focus on the cutting more than the person.
Don’t- Humiliate them by exploiting their scars or self harm to others
Don’t- Yell and lecture them. This will create more feelings of shame and guilt, and will usually lead to more self harm.
Don’t-Make threats or ultimatums. They don’t need any other reasons to feel like they can’t measure up.

The Parent Self-Harm Survival Toolkit

Tools to Help Your Child TRIUMPH over Self-Harm